The end of any relationship can be a painful experience, regardless of how much warning or forethought went into it. Unfortunately, in many cases, the signs of impending separation are all too often ignored. One of the biggest indicators of an imminent split is a series of large and/or daunting arguments that undermine the very foundations of the romantic partnership. This article will discuss the major fights couples have before they break up.
What Causes Big Fights?
When two people in a relationship are feeling or thinking differently than one another, their differences become more noticeable and disagreements can quickly turn into explosive arguments. Since not all fights are created equal, here are a few of the most typical underlying causes of big fights that often precede a couple’s break-up:
• Unmet expectations – Each person might have different expectations of the relationship, and have different ways of dealing with conflicts. When these expectations are not met, it often leads to tension and can cause a big fight.
• Incompatible values – A couple might have conflicting values and beliefs due to different backgrounds or personalities. This leads to disagreements and potentially explosive arguments.
• Unrealistic expectations – In an effort to keep their partners happy and preoccupied, one or both parties may establish unrealistic expectations and standards. These expectations usually set couples up for disappointment, leading to fights where none may exist in reality.
• Commitment issues – Commitment issues can arise when one or both partners are not sure if they want to remain in a relationship. This can be due to lack of trust or incompatibility.
• Power Struggle – A power struggle often occurs when one person feels like they are not as important or respected as the other. This often leads to arguments, as each person seeks to prove their worth.
• Poor communication – When communication breaks down, understanding is lost, and fights ensue. Without proper communication, partners often misinterpret each other, making it impossible to effectively resolve conflicts.
Signs Big Fights Are Having a Negative Impact on Your Relationship
Arguments are an unavoidable part of any relationship. However, if these arguments become frequent and increasingly intense, it can be a sign that the relationship is headed for an end. Listed below are a few common signs of a deteriorating relationship in which constant fighting indicates an imminent break-up.
• Insults are traded – This is when one (or both) persons start to emotionally hurt each other. This could be through verbal, physical or psychological abuse.
• Lack of affection – When the relationship has reached a low point and the couple is no longer able to show affection, it is likely the end is near.
• Withdrawal – If one partner starts to withdraw from physical and emotional intimacy, it is often a sign that their emotion has been hurt too deeply and they may be ready to call it quits.
• Spending time apart – When each person wants to spend much of their time apart, it is a sign that they don’t feel connected to one another anymore.
• Changing behavior – If one partner’s behavior drastically changes, this can point to an imminent split. Examples of behavior changes could be sudden signs of aggression, carelessness, or even avoidance.
How to Avoid Big Fights Leading to a Break-Up
Not all big fights end in a break-up, but if couples want to save their relationship from the brink of destruction, it is important to take proactive steps. Some of the best ways to avoid a break-up due to big fights include:
• Strengthening communication – Make sure to take the time to truly understand each other’s feelings and thoughts. The better communication is, the less likely a big miscommunication or misunderstanding will occur.
• Show respect – No matter how you feel, it is important to respect your partner, as well as their opinions. Respect is essential in any successful relationship.
• Forgive – In order to move forward, each partner needs to be able to forgive past hurts. This might take time, but it is necessary if the relationship is to remain healthy.
• Set healthy boundaries – It is important to set healthy boundaries in order to prevent recurring conflicts from arising. The couple should discuss what behaviors are acceptable and unacceptable in the relationship.
• Seek help – If the couple is struggling to fix the relationship, then it might be helpful to seek professional help. A knowledgeable third party can provide an objective point of view and help them figure out the best way forward.
Big fights can be indicative of an unhealthy and ultimately doomed relationship. Although they cannot always be avoided, it is important to take proactive steps to ensure that these arguments do not lead to a break-up. By strengthening communication, showing respect, forgiving, setting healthy boundaries, and seeking help if necessary, couples can have a much better chance of weathering the storms and staying together.