In the modern age of online dating, it makes sense that one of the primary forms of communication between two people is the sometimes-dreaded online “hello”. The ubiquity of online interactions has shifted the landscape of proper online dating etiquette so that what was once only available through traditional settings is now available at the click of a button. But once you have sent that initial greeting, what should you say next? This article will discuss the best strategies for responding after saying “hello” in an online dating context to optimize your chances of finding a successful romantic connection.
What to Say After That First Online ‘Hello’
When you meet someone for the first time, the next step is often exciting and full of possibilities. You likely want to make a good impression and be yourself. The same applies for meeting people online – now more than ever. Here are some tips for what to say following that initial “hello” on a popular dating app or website.
- Ask a Question About Them
No matter how brief or generic your greeting is, you should always follow it up with a question. This encourages a response and can give you an opportunity to learn more about the other person. Make the question open-ended, so they are encouraged to provide more than a one-word answer. This might be something simple like, “So what brings you to this site?” or “Have you had any success in online dating so far?”
- Make a Joke
If you are feeling a little more comfortable with the conversation and the other person seems to be responding, you can take the opportunity to share a bit of humor. It can be difficult to judge someone’s sense of humor, so keep it light if your jokes are a bit bold, or you could even go with a classic pun. Not everyone is funny, but if you are able to make them chap, you will make a great impression without trying too hard.
- Compliment Them
Whether it’s a genuine compliment about how great their profile photo looks or a remark about how interesting their profile bio is, kindly praising the other person—without being too overbearing—can be a great way to spark a conversation and get them interested in getting to know you better.
- Offer Links to Affiliate Sites
Do you follow any particular blog, podcast, or YouTube channel? If so, share a link with a comment about why you enjoy it. They may be interested in checking it out and, if they are, you’ll already have a topic to circle back to and continue the conversation.
- Talk About Your Shared Interests
The beauty of the internet is that there is no shortage of potential topics of conversation. You can easily find things you both have in common, so using those as a jumping-off point can really help get the conversations flowing. Note any shared interests they mention in their profile, and use those topics to discuss deeper and more meaningful things.
How to Keep the Conversation Going
Now that you have opened the conversation with a few lines of dialogue, you need to keep things going. So how do you keep the conversation alive until you meet face-to-face?
- Listen to What They Say
When the conversation stagnates, one of the best things to do is to listen to what they say and respond to that. Be sure to pause after they say something and take a moment to think of a meaningful response. That way, you’ll avoid having an awkward staring contest in which both of you are sitting there waiting for the other to say something.
- Show Your Curiosity and Interest
Once you’ve asked a few questions, make sure you follow up with responses of your own. Don’t just make statements; ask questions. You should be displaying an active interest in getting to know the other person better and build a rapport. When you do speak, be sure to provide thoughtful answers to make the conversation more interesting.
- Have an Open Mind
Your conversations don’t always have to be interesting, but they should be positive. When speaking with someone you have only just met online, it can be natural to be a bit skeptical. Make sure to remain mindful of your own preconceived notions and assumptions. Be open to receiving new information and it will go a long way in making your conversation more engaging and stimulating.
- Show Respect
It’s easy to forget that the person you’re conversing with is a real live human being with their own thoughts and feelings. Respect their privacy and be mindful of their boundaries. If they don’t feel comfortable going into certain topics, then the conversation should be steered in another direction.
- Don’t Rush Things
When meeting someone for the first time, it’s important to take things slow. It’s important to develop a strong foundation of trust and respect before things move to the next level. Avoid oversharing or coming off too strong. Allow the conversation to flow naturally and if it feels right, you can move on to more intimate topics.
What to Avoid When Responding to ‘Hello’
When you are engaging in online dating conversations, you should try to steer clear of any behaviors or statements that could be deemed inappropriate. Here are a few specific pointers to keep in mind:
- Don’t Be Overly Forward
As mentioned, it is important to learn a little bit about someone before going too deep into a conversation. Don’t comment on their photos or bring up any topics that could make them feel uncomfortable. Even if you have been conversing for a while, it is still important to avoid comment such as “Can I see more of you?” or “Let’s take things to the next level.”
- Don’t Be Too Pushy or Aggressive
If you are not getting the type of response from the other person that you’d like, avoid being overly aggressive in your follow up messages. Don’t bombard them with a barrage of messages, and don’t begin to make assumptions about why they are not responding. Don’t take it personally if you are not getting the response you are hoping for.
- Don’t Ask for Personal Financial or Contact Info
No matter how long you have been talking, you should never, EVER ask for someone’s financial or contact information. It does not matter what it is for. This type of request is a major red flag and should never be made.
In the current world of online dating, it is important to know proper etiquette – starting with the initial greeting. By following the advice outlined above, you will set yourself up for online dating success. Know what to say and what not to say after a “hello” and you’ll be sure to make a great first impression and maximize your chances of finding a successful relationship.
