Maintaining a relationship is not an easy task for many. When you are in a relationship, it is completely normal for obstacles to arise sooner or later; obviously, and let’s not forget, there are also many positive aspects! Everyone wants to have a healthy relationship, which is why today we offer you in this article secrets and tips that will help you build a healthy relationship. The target? Put the monotony aside and have a fun relationship.
To have a healthy relationship you need to be healthy and for real, it’s not enough to believe you are healthy. Then you need to have a healthy partner and not just assume they are or have a partner who pretends to be healthy. Don’t believe you know, the world is full of people carrying huge baggage of unresolved disturbances that seem invisible, but weigh a lot.
Very often people tend to analyze their relationships, alone or with the help of a professional, psychologist-psychotherapist, when they realize that things are not going well, looking for the problem and, above all, for the way in which face it, solve it and / or overcome it. And they wonder how to manage relationships that are going or have gone wrong.
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What is a toxic relationship?
In this time of narcissistic perverts and other toxic people, we tend to see evil everywhere, at least to no longer make sense of things. An argument explodes in the couple and we wonder if our spouse is not toxic. Ditto if our spouse no longer answers the phone three days to follow. However, toxicity is not just a result of indelicate attitudes and inevitable tensions.
The real way to identify someone toxic is to question yourself: am I suffering from this relationship? Let’s say that part of the toxicity remains subjective, that is to say that it depends on our own feelings and the way in which this relationship affects us: depending on the relationships maintained, an individual can be more or less toxic, he will not behave the same with everyone. Of course, a part of objectivity puts us on the path. Overall, a toxic man or woman will know how to devalue us and slow us down in our projects. This person is also the type of person who complains a lot to get attention while he knows how to disappear and abandon us to make us feel guilty.
The toxic relationships are unfortunately more common than you think. And often, people have a hard time realizing that their relationship is not healthy. Yes, the adage is true: love makes you blind. However, a romantic relationship should not make you unhappy or prevent you from fulfilling yourself.
Signs of a toxic relationship
To avoid being in denial too long, just observe your daily life and take note of all the little warning signs. Some do not deceive. Run away quickly!
You must ask for permission
Yes, in a relationship, it’s important to consider your partner’s desires before making a decision, but it doesn’t have to work all in one direction. If you have to ask your lover’s permission to act, and you feel like you are not free, it is a sign of a toxic or even abusive relationship.
You are emotionally exhausted
If you’re putting all your energy into arguments or constantly fighting to make your relationship okay, there’s a problem. A healthy relationship is based on happiness and fulfillment. And it needs to happen more naturally.
You are not yourself
Your partner does not support certain aspects of your personality or some of your passions or interests? If that person doesn’t love you for the way you are, you can be sure they don’t deserve you. Run away!
You do everything to avoid arguments
You probably think it’s best for your relationship to constantly avoid arguments. The problem is that you accumulate the unspoken and by force, everything risks exploding suddenly. Especially if you act against your personal values. The fear of starting an argument or separating from your boyfriend shouldn’t be a reason to let it all go.
You don’t feel good about yourself
Your partner talks badly to you and spends his time putting you down. By force, you lose confidence in yourself. You must at all costs escape this relationship and this person who is manipulating you.
You argue all the time
Yes, all couples go through times of crisis or quarrel from time to time. But if you can’t get along or communicate anymore, how can you be really happy together?
You think about the past instead of moving forward
Is your relationship at a standstill? Maybe it’s because you keep rehashing the past. You think of old arguments or discords that have not been resolved and you wonder how to get the matter back on the table. Unfortunately, you can’t move forward without fixing the problem.
You have to hide things
You know very well that certain things will upset him, but you must not lie to him to avoid an argument. A healthy relationship is based on mutual trust, remember.
You are always afraid of doing wrong
This constant anxiety can weaken you and tire you, with force. If you wonder every day whether you’re doing the right thing for your relationship or every time you’re doing something for yourself, there’s a problem.
You start to lose your self-esteem
Your partner must not make you think that you are worse than him. In a healthy relationship, both partners support each other and care about each other’s well-being.
Characteristics of a healthy relationship
Many people do not know what to answer to this question, unable to identify which positive aspects to look for in a relationship. If someone grew up watching their parents or other family members recite chronically “toxic” patterns, then that person may very well come to define such patterns as “normal” and have difficulty identifying those foundational aspects of a good relationship.
Increase energy
When the relationship works, the positive mood and the feeling of having a greater dose of energy prevails. If on the other hand, after spending time together, the prevailing feeling is that of nervousness or a sense of fatigue and exhaustion, there is probably something wrong. Being with your loved one took away the energies, it sucked them in.
Self-esteem grows
In a relationship of love that works there is a consolidation or even an increase in self-esteem. Feeling loved and appreciated by the partner in fact increases self-esteem, as well as the possibility of seeing that we can bring happiness to the other. The feeling is to be “lovable”, to “go just as well as you are”. You will be confident enough to sext your girlfriend or to send dirty messages because you will know that she will appreciate it and will respond you with the same texts.
We are in the presence of an unbalanced relationship when instead the sense of insecurity increases. If the partner expresses a lot of criticism and on the contrary appreciates the qualities of other people, if he often accuses himself of doing or saying the wrong things, if he puts the other one in line with his priorities, with these behaviors he represents a real threat to the self, undermining the sense of validity.
Most of the time spent with the other person is a source of joy and serenity
Time spent with your loved one seems to fly, there is never enough. It is a time full of words, looks, caresses, positive feelings. Even being hugged in silence, or doing nothing is rewarding. There may be discussions, sometimes even real quarrels, but they do not prevail over moments of peace and are still resolved and clarified. This is a “crucial” question, it forces us to make an objective balance of time and the feelings of the couple “Are there more smiles or more tears?”
If the answer tends towards tears, you can give yourself some time to understand if the conflicts or misunderstandings stop, but if the situation of unhappiness persists, it is best to leave it alone. It is not worthwhile, for a few crumbs of happiness, to face so much pain. People mistakenly believe that they will no longer have that feeling for anyone else, so they struggle to let go of a love. Love must bring joy and fullness in life, if it brings dejection, sadness and anxiety it is not love for us.
The partner is completely respected as a person
Using offensive words, overwhelming the other with the tone of voice, having brusque gestures towards his body, are aggressive behaviors that have nothing to do with respect. It is true that in moments of anger and impulsiveness they can escape but if the episodes are repeated the choice to interrupt the relationship becomes necessary, otherwise the price is to lose self-respect and consequently allow the partner to do it too.
Not all choices or tastes of the partner must necessarily be shared: manifesting one’s difference is then compatible with leaving him free to follow his own beliefs or interests anyway.
With the partner you live the freedom to express yourself
The couple relationship, if you can count on the respect of the other, becomes an environment of great freedom, in which you are not afraid to express feelings, emotions and even extravagant opinions of a sincere dialogue.
It is true that not everything has to be said to the partner, but if there are some areas that, for fear of rejection or the anger of the other, remain secret, it means that one cannot really be oneself.
This difficulty in expressing oneself completely can depend not only on the intolerant behavior of the other, but also simply on ancient fears or old wounds, which prevent it from being revealed, for example for fear of being abandoned.
Partners share common values, activities and interests
Opposites attract, differences can coexist but it is equally essential to have something in common such as the values to inspire one’s life project. Some pleasant activities to do together, sharing a company of friends allows you to spend time having fun, creating bonds and increasing the sense of unity within the couple.
5 Habits to build a healthy couple relationship
A lot of people strongly desire a relationship, hate being single and can’t wait to have someone next to them. The problem is that they don’t realize how important it is to prepare to welcome someone into your life and to have a serious relationship. Here is the reason for this article.
Give importance to your partner
Be aware that a partner is the complement that improves your life and produces well-being. It is a non-mandatory choice that aims to make us feel good, although obviously a distinction must be made between the need to obtain this well-being through someone (well-being that we should be able to achieve even on our own) and the desire to share it.
Due to work, family, children and the routine that we live day to day, which requires us to fulfill a series of responsibilities for living, it is sometimes difficult to dedicate time to the couple. It is true that in the beginning you do the impossible to be with that person and consolidate the relationship, but with the passage of time you begin to take everything for granted. However, for a relationship to survive, new challenges must continually be faced; in other words, a relationship does not change, it simply transforms. Now, in this regard, ask yourself: How many times have you changed plans with your partner for another activity outside of your relationship?
Sometimes, due to work or other interests that keep us busy, we don’t realize that we may be on the verge of losing our partner. So this is our advice: try to give the attention it deserves to that special person who is next to you, interested, give him or give the attention he deserves.
Of course, this by no means means that you are dependent on your partner and that you can’t take a step without first telling them, but you need to care. Show him / her how important he / she is to you, share with him / her your successes, your dreams, your pains. Remember that a partner is not an obstacle, on the contrary: it is a support. If your partner represents a problem you have to deal with, then obviously your relationship is no longer going well.
Laughing together is good for the couple
At the beginning of a relationship, laughter is one of the fundamental engines, so don’t forget or put it aside, even more so when life as a couple becomes a habit. Make sure that responsibilities, work and all the rest do not deprive your life as a couple of that initial essence , the one you used in the beginning to be fun and enjoyable. Try not to confuse maturity with seriousness, do not make the mistake of believing that it is a consequence of seriousness and boredom because no, it is not!
Just as it is perfectly natural for problems and obstacles to appear within a relationship, the loud laughter must also be present. In a relationship there must be room for fun precisely because it is capable of breaking the routine. Therefore, the advice is to never lose the ability to laugh, regardless of the context in which you are: sexually, after a fight, etc. Learn to laugh at yours and his mistakes, but always with due respect.
Communication in pairs
We are generally always very careful about what other couples do and how they carry out their relationship. This is a mistake you should avoid, because observing and comparing only increases your dissatisfaction with your relationship.
Never put aside or forget the details, attention, communication, sex, conversation and laughter so that your partner avoids aspiring to something they don’t have. We know that no one is perfect and that it can happen to everyone to have, for example, a negative or strange period, but for this very reason communication is fundamental : it serves to communicate, to say how we feel, to express what we like and what we don’t like.
Do not stop surprising your partner, do not stop falling in love with them, do not stop conquering them. Make them feel and understand that it matters to you.
Try new things
Do not turn your relationship into something obvious and everyday, try to change your routine, go to new places, have new experiences together, change your plans, try to be spontaneous, dare! It is likely that by setting aside the routine you will find things that you are passionate about and, therefore, will bring you together even more.
In the sexual field, try new positions, try to be intimate in different places. Remember that no one is born an expert on the subject of sex. Also in this case, dare, try to enjoy pleasure in an always different way. The best thing is to find out together! Also, chances are you haven’t discovered any pleasure spots in your partner yet. What are you waiting for?
Remember that perfection does not exist
You and your partner deserve the best. Things work out if all the pieces are in balance; if something does not go as hoped, it is normal for an obstacle to arise.
Remember: as human beings we make mistakes and we learn from them, so it is possible that discussions may arise along the way, hence the importance of knowing how to communicate. When differences arise, talk about them: the secret is not to be silent and not to forget that everything has a solution.
The phrase “nobody is perfect” has always been with us. It really is, so you have to learn to be tolerant with your partner, to allow yourself to learn from him / her. You must also learn from your mistakes to be better.
10 Essential things you need to know and do to have a solid relationship
To start something serious, you need to be mentally prepared on some basic things to have a serious and happy relationship. Below is a list of 10 essential things you need to know and do to have a solid relationship.
Love yourself
The first step in preparing for a good relationship is to love yourself. You need to have good self-esteem, love yourself, be comfortable with yourself, and appreciate your own company – that is, be comfortable alone. This is crucial point for having a healthy relationship. You need to be comfortable with yourself first and then be comfortable with another person.
Many are looking for a partner and expect this to make up for all their shortcomings. You can’t think about expecting your partner to be your savior. You can expect your happiness to depend on him / her. You are the only person who can provide for your happiness and well-being.
It is not your partner who has to give you the love that you do not give to yourself. And viceversa. Your partner, as I always say, will be an added value, a plus. You have to stand on your own feet, love and respect yourself. Otherwise you will not build a healthy relationship.
Learn to take your responsibilities
It is not uncommon that during an argument with your partner, you tend to blame him and avoid taking on your responsibilities. Among the many phrases that are said during a fight, one of the most frequent is: “It’s your fault”.
This prevents you from clearing up the fight quickly and creates anger and frustration.
The problem is that the more difficult you are to see the mistakes you make and your flaws, the more the relationship will be worn down. You will find it hard to apologize, you will constantly look for the blame in the other, demanding that your partner take a step back.
This attitude is far from productive. In the relationship with your person you will have to be ready to assume your responsibilities and to “tone down”, even when you are convinced that you are right.
The truth is, there are always different versions of a story. Reality is one but we perceive it differently. And you have to accept that often you and your person will see two different films. That what is truth to you is not always truth to the other person.
Don’t be selfish
In a relationship it is important that your partner understands what your needs and requirements are and that he respects them: the self-love speech in point 1.
In the same way, however, you will have to do the same with what the other person needs. You will no longer be alone. This does not mean that you will not have freedom: you can do whatever you want, but you will have to take into account that you have a person by your side. No relationship can last long if the partner only thinks about what he / she wants without taking the other into consideration. It does not work like that.
As I always say, relationship is a place where you give and receive at the same time. It doesn’t have to be one way, where one partner takes without giving. How can you practice on this point? You can start by evaluating your relationships: how do you behave with friends? How do you behave with your family? Do you think about them or are you focused only on yourself?
Don’t let your past stories influence you
The best thing you can do before starting a new relationship is to reset your past stories. You need to try to make peace with your previous relationships and with your past, so that you don’t have grudges and prejudices in your new relationship.
This point is essential for having a healthy and peaceful relationship. It is deleterious to start a story by taking with you resentments, anger, sadness, remorse, prejudice because of what happened before.
Your person is not your / your ex, they are not your past, so don’t treat them as such. You can’t start a story with the handbrake on because of something that doesn’t concern your present.
It is very important to understand this because when your person does something that maybe your ex, or a person from your past did, the same reaction will trigger in you to respond to that attitude. And maybe it will be an exaggerated reaction precisely because you have accumulated the frustrations of previous experiences.
Your person and your new relationship have nothing to do with your past. Try to forgive the people who made you suffer. You don’t have to go hand in hand with it, you just have to accept that things have gone this way, let go of grudges and think that you are ready for a person who will make you feel good, just like you will make her / him feel good.
Before committing, make sure you are completely free
Another thing to keep in mind to have a serious relationship is that: you can’t start a relationship with one person, thinking about another person instead. You have to be completely free.
If you are looking for someone to forget about someone else, your little game won’t work. First you will hurt yourself, because you will strive to have a relationship with one person when you would rather be with someone else. Second you will hurt the person who is in the relationship with you and who probably wants and desires you.
If the roles were reversed, would you like it if your person, while he is with you, kisses you, makes love to you, thinks of someone else?
If you are trying to forget a person and move on, make sure you have ended relationships with them. You can’t be friends with someone you still have feelings for.
Learn to be alone
Closely linked to the discourse of loving yourself is that of learning to be comfortable with yourself. That is, just feel good before getting even better with someone.
If you are single right now and you are accompanying anyone so as not to be alone, I tell you stop. If you do it because you want to have fun, you want to experiment, I can’t tell you anything, go and live your life!
But if the reason you desperately seek every single person’s company is because you can’t be alone with yourself , then you have to learn how to do it, otherwise you’ll never have a balanced relationship. As soon as your partner enters your life you will begin to depend on him / her, and it will create a kind of unhealthy attachment.
The relationship is both sharing but also respect for mutual spaces. You will have moments together, things that you will share, but it is also right that you have your spaces and that the other person has them too.
Maintain your individuality
When you are in a relationship, learning to be alone and loving time with yourself will help you maintain your individuality. You will continue to have your passions, your interests, the time you spend with friends, family, or just time for yourself.
It is very important to maintain your individuality while in a relationship. If you focus only on the other person, spending every minute together and forgetting about yourself, the relationship risks becoming little by little suffocating.
In the first few months of a relationship it is normal to be “obsessed” with your person and want to spend every minute with them. But you have to try to continue being yourself and have your priorities even if you are in a relationship.
This can also mean that you can include yourself in your activities, interests or passions. You will be able to make her discover your world and she will be able to be part of it, as you will be part of hers.
But to do this, it is essential that you both have your own spaces and your own escape valves. It is important that you continue to do the things you loved to do as a single, trying, where possible, to include each other.
Many people fear the relationship because they think they will feel caged. The truth is that everyone chooses how to manage the relationship: there are those who when they find a person pause their life and rotate their whole world around that person, and those who decide to continue to have their own spaces.
Get ready to share
As I mentioned earlier, the relationship is based on sharing. If you are an individualist, you don’t like talking to your person about what you are doing, where you are going, who you are with, then don’t start a relationship.
You have to keep in mind that you will no longer be alone, and you have to consider that there is a person who expects to hear from you, who is looking for you, who wonders what you are doing and who cares about you. The best way to make sure you have your space while respecting the person you’re with is to let your partner know what’s on your mind.
Do you need space? Do you need to take an evening without looking at your cell phone? Do you want to disconnect for a day? Okay, but let your person know what’s going on. You don’t have to give up on your needs, you just have to communicate them.
Communication is the key in the relationship. You can’t do everything you do as a single person in the relationship, you have to take into account that there is another person.
Learn to communicate
Communication is key to having a healthy relationship. It is actually crucial in any relationship. However, it becomes even more important in close relationships: those in which you spend most of your time with the other person and the odds of conflict are higher, also given the confidence that is established.
For this reason, in a sentimental relationship, those who do not communicate are lost. If with your friends, after an argument you take a week to cool off, a week in which you have no contact and are silent, don’t think you can do the same thing with your partner.
This point is very complex, especially since everyone handles conflicts in their own way. There are those who prefer to talk and bring out all their feelings, those who explode and then calm down, those who shut up completely and those who leave in the middle of the discussion.
You need to be prepared for the fact that in an argument, in an argument, or if you have misunderstandings with your partner, you will both have to force yourself to step up to each other and communicate, rather than leave things unresolved. You will need to be aware of your reactions and understand if they are constructive for your relationship. And your person will have to do the same.
Ask yourself if you really want a relationship
Given the commitment that a relationship needs, you may be wondering if you really want a relationship. You don’t know how many want a person just because they want to take beautiful pictures to post on social media, they want to brag to friends and girlfriends, they want the perfect picture of a relationship without taking the responsibilities that the relationship requires.
If you really want to have someone next to you because you want to love and be loved, you want to enjoy time together, you want to share your life, knowing full well that there will be difficulties, then this will allow you to have the strength and commitment to build something real. Conversely, you will not be happy, and probably neither will the other person.
Learn to like yourself
Last but not least: to have a serious relationship you have to like yourself!! Being in a relationship means that your person will see, as well as your personality, your body, you will have sex and desire each other, as it should be.
For this it is essential that you have a good relationship with your body, you must like yourself, you must feel comfortable with yourself and have faith in yourself . Only then will you feel good about the other person.
We all find ourselves flawed when we look in the mirror, we are our worst critics. However, it is important that these defects do not prevent us from opening up to a person, also and above all on a sexual level.
Sex is fundamental in a relationship and when it is missing, it is one of the first reasons why the relationship breaks down. Your person wants to feel wanted by you and you also need to feel wanted and loved.
How to have a healthy and lasting relationship?
Do not create expectations and if you really do, let them be realistic. No one can be as we want it and we cannot expect someone to be as we want it. Coping with a healthy relationship means accepting people for who they are and not trying to change them. If they are really toxic or incompatible, it is best to leave them where they are. We don’t have to have a life of hell to be mated, right?
Talk to each other. In relationships between humans (and others) there is nothing more important than communication. To communicate in the right way:
●Take enough time and in that time be truly present with all of yourself.
●Listen while remaining focused on the other and only on him, in a genuine way, that is, without prejudice. Immerse yourself in the other person’s perspective without being influenced or manipulated
●Ask questions. With the same genuineness and always without prejudice show sincere interest and ask about the important experiences of others, their feelings, their interests, their opinions and their interests.
●Share information about your account. Many studies, but also our personal experience, tell us that telling about oneself in a reciprocal way allows us to deepen knowledge, confidence and interest and strengthens the bond. Let the other know something about you, but without exaggerating, so as not to rush too much and to leave a little mystery, which increases the tension of seduction.
Be flexible. A new relationship brings about changes in our life and if it is a peaceful relationship that came after many dysfunctional relationships it paradoxically creates a certain intimate upheaval. So keep yourself open to change and growth.
Take care of yourself, your well-being, your goals, your pleasure. In a couple the well-being and serenity of the individual counts more than that of the couple itself. Since the couple is made up of two singles who must have space and physical and mental health first for themselves and then for the couple. If you feel bad, the couple suffers.
Confront with loyalty. Sometimes (sometimes, not always) conflicts can arise in a couple and some conflicts can be generative, that is, lead to advantageous and enriching solutions. Conflict is not war and must in no way be a sign of a lack of love.
Take care to have a balanced life. No friend, relative, colleague, partner, can satisfy all your emotional needs and not even your life as a couple. Get a life, as they say, where there are different people you are attached to and also activities, commitments and entertainment that lead you to frequent different environments so that your different needs have different sources of satisfaction.
Be yourself. With loved ones, family, friends and partners, it is far easier to get along with yourself than to pretend to be different than you are. Healthy relationships are made by real people, not by imitations of non-existent and unattainable models.
12 aspects that characterize a healthy relationship
During the last few months of the pandemic, many couples have spent more time together than usual during lockdown. All this time spent together can make some people wonder if they are in the right relationship. In fact, maintaining a healthy romantic relationship is an important part of our mental and physical health. It is obvious that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship and that all relationships are different. However, there are some key characteristics that help make a healthy relationship stand out from a toxic one. So how do you know if your relationship is healthy?
Trust
In a relationship, trust is probably among the most important characteristics. Without trust, there is a lack of a solid foundation on which to build emotional intimacy. Without trust, your relationship is dominated by uncertainty: you will constantly feel uncertain whether you can rely on your partner. And that can wear you and your relationship down.
Communication
Good communication with your partner is the lifeblood life that nourishes a healthy relationship and funzionale. Communicate honestly and respectfully, especially on things that put us in difficulty, it is something that is not automatically to everyone. We may have learned to keep uncomfortable things under the surface for the sake of harmony or appearance or perfection, or we may never have learned to recognize those feelings that put us in trouble. At other times, however, we may have a tendency to take things personally and lash out at our partner when we feel threatened. In both cases, which are quite frequent, the important thing is recognize these dynamics and start working on them.
Patience
No one can be perfectly patient at all times and factors such as lack of sleep, stress and / or physical or other health problems can make us more easily irritable. We are human beings. But patience is definitely the common denominator that characterizes a healthy and functional relationship and that makes the partners give each other support when one of the two is having a bad day or is not at their best.
Instead, when partners are chronically impatient with each other, they often create a dynamic of counting the mistakes made by one or the other, a dynamic of competition and resentment, in which mentally accumulate the “offenses” or “mistakes” that the other partner has committed. Being able to adapt to the ebb and flow of a partner’s moods in everyday life – within reasonable limits – can instead allow for the feeling of being loved unconditionally.
Empathy
Being willing to take another person’s perspective is useful in so many different cases and disputes: it helps if you are a parent, if you have neighbors, and even when someone runs in front of you on the highway. Certainly, however, it is important to be empathetic with the person you have chosen as your partner.
Affection and interest
Taking it for granted that love should be the founding characteristic of a “healthy” relationship, it is important to emphasize that so too are the expression of that love in the form of affection and genuine interest in the partner ( mutual sympathy ). Small physical gestures of affection, such as hugs, kisses, and a comforting touch, can go a long way in making every person feel comforted and secure in their relationship. There is no “right” amount of physical affection within a relationship, as long as both partners feel comfortable. The same goes for physical intimacy.
Flexibility
Surely you’ve heard it before: relationships are compromised. And the key component of making a good compromise is flexibility. It is important, however, that both partners show flexibility, because if it is just a partner who is always “flexing”, this imbalance can become toxic over time. In “healthy” relationships, both partners are willing to adapt, if necessary, to the changes and growth – positive and negative – that can occur during a long-lasting relationship. Two partners who are never willing to “bend over” to meet each other are unlikely to be able to truly share a life together.
Appreciation
Research shows that feeling appreciated by your partner makes you happier and more confident in the relationship. Even small expressions of gratitude and appreciation can help improve the feeling of satisfaction with your relationship. So the next time you think it doesn’t matter if you say “thank you” for something your partner did, think again.
Room for growth
The relationships become stale, not only because a certain period has elapsed time, but because people feel stuck and unable to move forward, both as individuals and as a couple. It’s unrealistic – and downright unhealthy – to expect two people to stay exactly the same for months, years, and decades in a relationship. Hopes, fears, goals and interests are constantly evolving, and this is a very good thing. A relationship doesn’t have to end or even suffer from this, and this happens if both people allow each other the space to grow , trying to take an interest in what’s important to each other.
Respect
The respect is essential in a relationship. In “healthy” relationships, people talk to each other in a way that doesn’t debilitate, invalidate or belittle the other. They accept that the other may have another opinion from their own, even if they do not share it. They mutually protect their privacy and do not use each other. When respect begins to erode within a relationship, rebuilding it is a long and uphill path: damage is much easier to do than to repair.
Reciprocity
In “healthy” relationships, both partners generally help each other when needed. In an ideal situation, the “give-and-take” should be roughly equal for the partners, and therefore neither should feel resentful. In reality, however, in relationships, “giving-and-receiving” is never equal (take, for example, the case of a partner who needs long-term medical care or struggles with a psychological disorder). And that’s okay, as long as both partners feel comfortable overall in this “exchange”, and that each of them finds a way to give something to the relationship and their partner, especially in the form of emotional support when they can.
Individuality and boundaries
Two people exactly alike probably wouldn’t have much to talk about after a while; after all, they would already know what the other person’s perspective would be, so why bother listening to it? On the other hand, two people so different that they do not share each other’s values or everyday lifestyles would have too little in common to maintain a mutual interest (at best) or they could be absolutely incompatible, not appreciating any aspect of the other right from the start (at worst).
So the ideal is a relationship where similarities create a basis for connecting with each other, but individual differences they are still respected and appreciated, and it is important that each partner has the freedom to live their own life, especially in terms of friendships, professional goals and hobbies. A strong and “healthy” relationship brings to mind a Venn diagram: there is adequate overlap to keep the connection strong, but each person has aspects of their life of their own and the boundary is respected by both sides.
Honesty and Confidence
Different partners have different levels of confidence within their relationships – some may be horrified to leave the bathroom door open, for example, while others would have no problem talking about the more intimate physical details, without thinking twice.
The same goes for hopes, dreams, and even the details of the working day. But no matter where you place yourself on the spectrum from lower to higher confidence, the important thing is that there is a solid bond with your partner and that honesty is the basis of everything. Partners who mask their true selves, who hide their emotional realities or actively deceive their partners about their habits and behaviors, are undermining the foundation of the trust that every relationship needs.
